Yesterday the discomfort began to drag me down a bit so obviously the Paracetamol isn´t doing as well as I had hoped so will have to seek further aid from the Doctor at the appointment today. Also a sort of background Nausea is becoming irksome particularly since it becomes more active when I drink ( Water ) and I am trying to keep up a good fluid intake.
Some people may be wondering why I have elected for Palliative Treatment only. I took the decision based on extensive research on the WWW which indicates to me that once Metastatic Liver Cancer is detected it is too late for there to be an effective treatment to delay or cure the condition. My other consideration is for my Carers. I cared full time for my Father and know only too well the toll that it takes on the Carer. By definition my carer will have to be my wife and I want it to be as gentle on her as possible. She will need all her strength to cope with the problems I leave behind.
I want to thank all of you who have left comments they are much appreciated and let me know that I am not just blowing off into the wind. Part of my intention in starting this blog was to hopefully help others in the same or similar situation to know that they are not alone in their frustration and loss. That there is a positive way to face things with both Dignity and good humour.
Todays positive note is that I have a friend coming on Saturday to play Cribbage with me and I do hope that he will give me a cut-throat game as I do like a good battle.
Well Toodle Loo for today see you tomorrow.
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Not such a bad day yesterday though I did feel bloated all day. I have just realized that this feeling is caused by my Liver which is getting bigger and pressing on my other Organs. So far Paracetamol 1 gm in soluble form is able to relieve this so no real problem. I cannot however comfortably eat as much as previously.
Have been pondering about the arrangements for disposal of my remains and have decided that for various reasons Cremation is the preferred option.The Ashes can be disposed of any way which my heirs and successors may see fit and in accordance with their beliefs. I wish for there to be no arguments over this, so if there is any disagreement, then the ashes to be divided and disposed of in various manners. I do hope that someone will come up with a method which will always remind you all of how I lived life, outside the Box and full of Gusto.
The one thing I am certain about is that I want people to celebrate my life rather than mourn my passing, Life is for Living so while you have it Live it in Joy.
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Yesterday was not one of my better days, stomach unsettled and I couldn´t make up my mind whether it was hunger or overfull. This is accompanied with lots of Gas, which rattles and gurgles about until it emerges one way or the other.
Did very little all day and in the end only ate lightly, mixed in with a lot of sleeping.
I guess my plan to enjoy my latter days may have to be severely curtailed if this keeps up. I may not be able to go to town and sit in a Bar drinking Coffee with my friends just idling away the days in the sunshine. I would probably fall asleep and be arrested for being drunk or rushed off to hospital. Still I can still sit in the Porch and my friends can visit from time to time.
I don´t know if the sleepiness comes from my illness or from lack of stimulation but I do know that I seem to go into short fugue states and I come to after a few minutes having been in a thought loop. Yesterday I went to the toilet and came too thinking about standing up but not having done it, I was still sitting there pondering the idea.
Well more tomorrow if I can remember to do it.
